Trauma Healing Isn't a Sprint: Why We Begin With the Present Before Digging Into the Past
As a trauma-informed therapist, one of the most common things I hear from new clients is:
“I just want to heal my trauma. I’m ready to get into it. How many sessions will it take?”
I get it. When pain from the past is leaking into your present—showing up in your relationships, your reactions, your body, or your self-worth—it’s natural to want to get to the root and pull it out fast.
But here’s the hard truth: trauma work isn’t a sprint. It’s a long game. Trying to rush it can actually leave you more overwhelmed, not less.
Let me explain why we don’t start with “deep trauma processing” right away—and why this is not only safer but far more effective.
What Trauma Is (And What It Isn’t)
First, let’s clear something up. Trauma isn’t just what happened to you. It’s not defined by how “big” or “bad” the event was. Additionally, it can even be extended to not just the things that did happen, but the things that needed to happen but didn’t (think neglect).
Dr. Gabor Maté puts it best:
“Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”
Trauma lives in the body. It shows up in the nervous system. It disrupts how we process emotions, form relationships, and even how we see ourselves.
You don’t need to have survived a catastrophic event to be carrying trauma. Chronic emotional neglect, inconsistent caregivers, bullying, or medical trauma can all leave lasting imprints on how safe you feel in the world—and within yourself.
The Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) Model of EMDR
In EMDR therapy, we work with something called the Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) system. This theory suggests that your brain is naturally wired to process and heal from difficult experiences—just like your body heals a cut or bruise.
But trauma disrupts that process. It gets “stuck” in the nervous system, stored in fragments—images, sensations, emotions, beliefs—that don’t get fully processed.
When triggered, it’s like that unprocessed experience gets reactivated in the present, even though the danger has passed.
EMDR helps us “unstick” those memories and reprocess them. But—and this is a big but—we don’t always start with the hardest memories right away.
Why We Start in the Present (a.k.a. Clean the Kitchen First)
Let’s use an analogy I often share with clients:
Trying to process deep trauma without first building stability is like deciding to deep-clean your attic when your kitchen is a disaster. The attic can wait—but your kitchen is where you live every day. You need it functional before tackling the mess upstairs.
In trauma therapy, your “kitchen” is your present-day life—your ability to cope, regulate, and feel safe enough to function.
Before we go into the attic of the past, we make sure your nervous system has the tools to handle what might come up.
This isn’t about avoidance—it’s about building the capacity to do the deeper work without collapsing under it.
What Trauma-Informed Therapy Looks Like
When we begin trauma work, especially with EMDR, here’s what the early stages might include:
Regulation First
You’ll learn tangible strategies to calm and stabilize your nervous system—like breathwork, grounding, movement, visualization, or bilateral stimulation. You need these skills in place so you’re not left flooded when tough material arises.
Target Mapping
Together, we map out your “targets” for processing—specific memories, experiences, or themes that are most linked to your current distress. We don’t try to process everything. We focus on what’s actively showing up in your life today—where the pain is loudest.
Readiness and Willingness
Your system needs to be ready—and you need to be willing—to go there. Trauma processing can bring up intense emotions, body sensations, and old beliefs. We go slowly, gently, and always with your consent and collaboration.
Therapist as Guide, Not Director
My role isn’t to push you or dig around in your past for the sake of it. My job is to guide the process, help you build capacity, and only move into trauma work when you have enough resources in place to handle it.
There Is No Set Timeline
Over the years, I’ve worked with clients who come in wanting to “heal their trauma in 6–12 sessions.” I understand the urgency behind that.
But here’s the reality: trauma doesn’t heal on a schedule.
It’s not about how quickly we move—it’s about how safely we move.
And often, it’s the slow, steady progress that brings the most lasting change.
Sometimes the deepest healing happens not from revisiting the most painful memory, but from learning to respond differently in the present—from finally feeling safe in your own body, from reclaiming a sense of agency and self-worth.
Final Thoughts: The Long Game Is Worth It
Trauma healing isn’t linear. Some weeks feel like breakthroughs; others feel like setbacks. That’s normal. That’s the process.
We don’t go into the attic without prepping the kitchen.
We don’t push for catharsis when we haven’t built containment.
We don’t chase healing—we build the foundation for it.
And that foundation starts with you: your willingness to show up, stay curious, and take the next step—even when it's slow.
If you’re considering trauma therapy, know this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be open to the journey.
I’ll walk with you every step of the way.